#I'll probably make more tags later too-
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Ayyy so I just realized we (as in the public) know barely anything about Kali lore/backstory, so I wonder if you've done anything about that?
Pretty much all that is known is:
(added filter to make it clear that it's a screenshot)
Since I believe you made the post I grabbed this from a quite while ago I thought maybe you may have gotten some backstory done? Or idk
It's just curiosity!
On yeah! I never really focused on it huh-
So I'm glad you asked Io! Cause i never would have actually wote it down otherwise lol whoops --
So, that's basically the main thing, Kali is not exactly a part of a specific au (well, she was once-) but, like Ink, she mainly likes to stay at doodlesphere as well. I like to keep it pretty open to interpretation as to what exactly happened basically so I can fit it in different scenarios lmao
Now, about the aus, it's also like Ink (or any other character from directly in multiverse) there's some aus involving her despite not being a part of one au, and depending on it, her lore also changes.
For example, in the comfort story au of mine, she lives in a previously abandoned au where Ink created a big house and some other of the sans aus live with her (partly- they still go back to their own au and stuff but it's basically like, a break from their usual life's of sorts)
However, in the main au that I draw the most of, she lives with only Ink. But they are traveling to all sorts of places most of the time cause Ink can't freaking stay in one place (/affectionate)-
In the garden au the only difference (from main au) is that they get married and have kids-
And there's a bunch more aus that I've created in my head!-
So basically, most of her background can be up to interpretation, she's basically a blank slate exept for her personality.
Exept for one thing that never changes no matter the au.
Her love for Ink ♡
#ink sans#ink sans x oc#kaligraphy#kalink#uh ..was that too cheesy?#well i hope this makes it more clear!-#cause honestly idk what I'm doing either lmao#I'll probably make more tags later too-
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Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.
For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).
(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)
Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.
Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.
Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.
Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.
Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.
Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.
But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.
Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.
As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.
#hope it's not too long but i'll make it a read more if somebody thinks it is#i spammed discord i spammed bsky it's only fair i post it on tumblr too#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#danganronpa#like obviously normally you'd go for something like Kokichi as Homura and Shuichi as Madoka and I'm just not that sure of it myself#like the vibes match at the first glance but the more I think about it the less it actually works for the characters in question#one of Kokichi's most defining chracteristics is that he cares a lot about everybody and frankly more than probably any other V3 character#but in a very... general sense if you get me. characters like Kaito and even Shuichi pick some people they like to care for and everybody#else is like whatever - sucked but now it's done like after Korekiyo's execution he says nothing abt him while both Makoto & Hajime offer#Celeste and Mikan some more thoughts and compassion; anyway obviously Kokichi doesn't care about say Kaede more than Shuichi but he still#gives all their lives the same amount of respect just for the sake of it; that's what makes chapter 4 so horrifying from his perspective#and also why in chapter 5 he isn't willing to do the same anymore and instead chooses to die himself so Maki of all people can survive and#so Kaito can go in a blaze of glory. and these two are arguably the two characters who treated him the worst (not that anybody treated him#well save for maybe Gonta and Kiibou). so i can't imagine Kokichi in Homura's role - reaching the point where he cares about only one perso#surviving while everybody else can die in a ditch bc the one time he picked his life over anybody else's he had a wholeass breakdown & then#killed himself several days later even though logically it would've made more sense to either kill Kaito who's dying anyway or throw Maki#under the bus since she was the one to fuck things up in the first place and proved herself to be a danger to the group.#Shuichi meanwhile he absolutely could given his lack of regard for some of the dead (Rantaro Ryouma idk abt Angie but I remember little#Korekiyo Miu and finally Kokichi himself) so he could snap at some point#anyway time to shut up it's getting long in these tags
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Alright, the kewk classic 'face hole' design it is~ 📊✅
"Ain't he a doll?" 💋💦💕
And now while I fuck with this anatomy sketch 5ever, we gotta decide on a background! I'm thinking Sal would prefer to do his love-sick swooning in the privacy of his bedroom, but where, exactly? 🤔
'The bed'-
Perks: seems more routine, sowft snuggly nest to daydream and swoon in, [darling] collage on the wall, '... okay, what have you been doing with that pillow...?'
Drawbacks: Limited space, have to take stability/sinking into account with props, perspective is Hard and I will make that headboard look good or die trying
'The floor'-
Perks: seems more impulsive, more yan/NEET clutter potential (more room to spread out), a glimpse under his bed (and at all the [darling] stuff he's got shoved under there)
Drawbacks: That carpet is UGLY, I will probably (definitely) bite off more than I can chew trying to fill all that space with props, it hurts my Everything just thinking about lying on the floor like that for too long
'Secret third thing'-
....???? idk you tell me lol
#sally face#sal fisher#love sick sally#tw yandere#tw unsanitary#sorry steve#lime#(just implied a little ((for flavor))#im laughing at the potential of the 'secret third thing'#planking on his dresser? Chillin like a vamp on the ceiling?? Sliding up the wall like a slug???#Periodic reminder: Your only artistic limitation is your own imagination...~🌈♾#i gotta come up with a tag for this redraw so all the posts can be dug up later#i was gonna just make a chain of reblogs with the original post but decided it would get waaaaay too long by the time im done#im so flattered that yall chose the face hole design fr qwq 💖💖💖#I'd have been happy either way but it was a close race for a while and im just pleasantly surprised 🥺💗#side note: ive recently been going down an OG l/oony tunes rabbit hole (bu-dum-tss) so if my doodles start lookin more cartoony thats why#k.e.w.k. x sally#(I'll probably be doing little selfship doodles on this at almost every stage of this redraw bc it sparks joy and i deserve it uwu 💙)
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I haven't watched more than like, 8 episodes of once piece, but i just want to say that i'm loving your live(?) blogging of the episodes as you go. especially all the sanji x luffy, it's all very cute in general but also how excited you get about it is fantastic.
that's all! i just love seeing people passionately enjoy things.
AAGFGHGHF THANK YOU OMG........I feel like I've been REALLY annoying talking about Sanlu nonstop but I'm glad at least somebody is enjoying it lmao. But if there's one place where I SHOULD have no filter and feel free to talk about my ships constantly, it should be my own blog right. LOL
Essentially,
#Also live blogging is fun for me too ESPECIALLY when I can come back to it later#Like. In a couple months or years#I can scroll through my tags and relive everything I was feeling in those exact moments#Just makes for good memories <3#Shima answers questions#Anyway thank you for letting me unashamedly rant about OP and Sanlu. I appreciate you 🥰#Nice things#Again I'm so so so glad I got into OP. Not only is it just a fantastic show in general but like#I'm properly hyperfixated on it now and I haven't been that way towards anything in a HOT second#It's good for me bc that means I'll be writing and drawing and creating more#I've drawn more over the past month than I have over the last year. Probably. Lol#One Piece#Sanlu#Lusan
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The brainworms are winning, clearly (Patreon)
#Doodles#Osmosis Jones#Ozzy#Drix#Thrax#As if it wasn't bad enough when it was just Doran oh no - I knew I'd want a separate tag for this in earnest at some point ahhhh#Damned#Alright sure lol good enough - I'll go back and edit the tag in a bit#I just can't help it wahh the Institute is such a fun and interesting setting it scratches my brain in Such a way#It's been really fun poking around to see who's there but there are some who I'm like ''Why wasn't [x] there? :0''#Some make sense lol like characters that didn't exist/come into the cultural vogue until after the game started or ended#Totally understand that - and it's still really fun to speculate how they'd react! Very enjoyable!#But others - like the above - I'm just like But they existed before the game and are such fun characters! Why!#Neverminding that Osmosis Jones was yet another box office flop in an impressive lineup of likewise siblings oof lol#It'd be such a good movie......if only (lol) Like I love it! But yeah it's still pretty rough haha#Gosh if the animated sections aren't beautiful tho hh <3#The show's even rougher - like why choose a nearly PG-13 movie to turn into a Y-10 (at the Most) cartoon? The tone shift is so jarring lol#So yeah! Why weren't these characters a more popular draw five years later! That's practically still pop culture! Lolol#No I'm well aware I'm probably The entire pool of people interested in this crossover but hey - I offer >:3c#Obviously I had to have Ozzy judging me for subjecting him to the Institute - this is what you get for being a fave Oz <3#Thrax is All over him (a criminal) and Ozzy (a cop) being equalized in the same prison uniform lol - I mean yes but actually no#It's an escape game of course he wants out#I have way too much fun making ''real person'' profiles wagh I've already made a bunch of backstory stuff helpppp#The names are pulled around from the various voice actors/real names based on character names which was Quite fun#And of course Oz had to get punched :) That meme's not completely dead yet is it lol#But really it was just fun posing ahhh I'm really rather pleased with it <3 Excited to scene-stitch that one together too#Drix fussing over Oz is my favourite ahhhh yesss <3 <3#Can you tell that hunched-over Thrax was my first pass? Here's a hint - he doesn't have a burned finger there!#I wrote up his profile after that one and forgot to add it afterwards haha but yeah! Just barely touched on in-fic so far lol#And then him in his proper clothes.... Look all I'm saying is that I was uniquely primed in my media diet to enjoy Vargas lol
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.
#i know this is just burnout#but i'm so frustrated with my own body like#the first two years of grad school i was taking 2 classes per semester#sometimes working 1-2 jobs at a time#and then sometimes speaking at conferences too#*while* still slowly working on my thesis#(admittedly not getting very far at all in the writing stage)#and it burned me out *so bad*#and now just taking one class and writing my thesis tires me out tremendously#sure i'm actually *writing* it now and making so much more progress#but i'm no longer working. or taking any other classes. i'll probably do more conference stuff later but...how did i do it all???#also i'm so behind in networking like???#where is my energy???#i can barely even do thesis work for my than 3-4 hours at most before i need to stop for the day..and that's on a good day#idk i feel like i make this post multiple times per year and nothing changes health wise lol#sorry i'm just sitting here in this coffee shop and i want to cry lol i feel so tired and unmotivated lol#grad school tag
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woo I've been silent for a little huh. i just recently got back from a week long road trip though and my god. montana and wyoming are so gorgeous.
#I'll probably be a little more active again in the coming days#the thing that actually promtped me to make a post though was bc i wanted to ramble about something#something that isn't really worth rambling about though so I'll just say it in a tag:#screw the cunty ass son of a bitch who messaged me and then deactivated right after.#it left a notification i can't get rid of bc i can't access the chat log of a bitch who doesnt exist#it's always a hellp/arky bitch too who does these things.#grr grrowll grrrrgrrr.#okay ramble over#hi again guys i wanted to do some drawings later in the next few days maybe :3
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Hey friends!
A new work, "Going 3-D" by a_library_of_old, was published today, with 1/1 chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Fluff, How Do I Tag, no beta we die like men"
You can read it here:
Always a big fan of their human forms; especially Prismo not knowing how to walk at first. It's the perfect excuse for them to get physically closer to each other >:]. Prismo getting overwhelmed at being human for the first time is always relatable to my autistic butt ebhnjfvmkg. The ending of them cuddling sitting together and looking at the space outside the Time Cube was super cute too :].
#not too much to report this morning#which is a-okay :]#might even be able to make a second post later today ohohoho#also; still trying to figure out formatting posts#so expect a few changes in the future :]#prohibitedwish#prohibitedwish fics#going 3-D#unsure of what other tags to add#i'll probably think of more in the future ehehe
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Hey guys!! this is just my insane ramble on Still Waters Run Deep that's made by the lovely @un-local. I've had so so sooooo many thoughts about this fic and I decided to try and put it all coherently in a post :)
Probably not a lot of new insights, just many, many rambles
Magdalene analysis and her view on Rogier + some other stuff
Magdalene, at the start of the story, is aimless and refuses to follow any line of Grace, putting off whatever it leads to and going in the opposite direction. Yet Grace is fickle, and it all eventually converges, so she gives in. (aaaand a life-changing partnership ensues)
She wants out of the competition of becoming Elden Lord, and she wants nothing to do with it. Someone else to take lordship is what she wants. Magdalene, in her eyes, is not worthy to take the throne. But Rogier on the other hand…
Rogier is, quite literally, built different. He thinks differently compared to Magdalene (a STR vs INT user difference lol). He’s able to pick out all the details that she would miss. Be able to extrapolate and examine it all and be able to learn from it. Magdalene can't do that.
It's basically:
Rogier: says some fun facts about the most random thing in the room, saying all the history behind it, and what the tiny details could mean Magdalene: yeah, that's a rock.
So instead, she becomes a tool for Rogier to be able to use, because that's the least she can do for him.
“She can already feel the faint grin forming on her lips at the thought. She never wanted to be Elden Lord. She’d finally picked up and followed grace to... to get away, with no idea what it called her to do. When Melina told her where it led her, she felt only dread. But Rogier... To save Those Who Live in Death... Two birds, one stone. She meets his eyes, and doesn’t look away. In them, she doesn’t see pride, or avarice. She doesn't see a man who wants to rule the world. Not at all. The path forward is clear now.” -Chapter 22
For once, she really sees a light from the dark future she sees. She's hopeful that she won't have to take the throne, that Rogier can burden it instead of her. He's worthy in her eyes and because of that, she devotes herself to him with all she can do. (Ah but… I believe Rogier wants her to be Elden Lord? Not sure but her not wanting to be Elden Lord doesn’t quite fit with what he has planned)
Magdalene really holds onto Rogier, and his guidance (a comfort wizard, if you will). And so the idea that he won’t make it… that she’ll be left alone with Grace again, forced to join back into the competition for lordship... It's sickening to her. So she really clings to him, desperate to not be left alone with a destiny that she despises.
Magdalene is always pulled into different directions. Grace pulls her to one but she pulls herself to the opposite one. Fia and D are both on extreme sides of the spectrum on Rogier's survival, and Magdalene is caught right in the middle of it.
But for her, Rogier will survive, he has to survive otherwise... that light, that small hope she has will all fade into obscurity.
Ghosts from the past (Lorens and Ida)
I absolutely love how something, or rather, someone haunts both of them.
Lorens had been the catalyst of all of what Rogier does now. Why he’s so desperate to save those who live in death. He's literally devoted his body and mind to Lorens just to see him alive (maybe Rogier's devoting all of himself to finding a solution to death because he wants it to come back to the old times when it was just him and Lorens in the Rise, or maybe not!! I'm just rambling lol).
Every thought of Lorens is painted with a sort of bittersweetness to it. From Rogier's perspective, at the very least (I'm super curious as to how Lorens would view Rogier but we'll probably never get it because... you know...). He's almost obsessed with him, and it's all pretty unhealthy lol.
Magdalene, who’s haunted by Ida who's probably a sort of lover that hadn't been fully brought to fruition. Different opinions on what they have had made Magdalene leave with (from what I have seen at least, we have scrapes of her, people! I can't wait to see more of Ida though)
Now with Ida... Magdalene absolutely shakes herself out of every thought she has about Ida. Spurning every single thought or imagination she has of that woman.
"Nausea comes in waves. Fever. She can feel delirium taking her—she’s convinced she’s submerged in the very waters of creation, for a while. She vividly feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into a current; cold and dark and inescapable. As it pulls her down, she’s overcome with the instinct to breathe it in— Against her temple she feels a hand, with gentle fingers dragging softly through her hair. Suddenly, every layer of the dream collapses in on itself, and she jolts awake with a gasp. Here, in Liurnia, she hauls herself up, rubbing at her face. Even the memory is a shock of cold water to her. She’s a woman haunted." -Chapter 23
(I just really love this part- I can't help it)
I think it's also really interesting how Magdalene leaves Ida due to their differences in what they have (?) while Rogier just absolutely hangs onto Lorens no matter what, despite him being... er... him. Not so sure about his personality with the small flashbacks we get of him but he’s probably not good for Rogier.
In short, Rogier venerates Lorens, while Magdalene absolutely rejects Ida. (Opposites!)
Rogier’s overthinking
Also found it interesting that when Rogier thinks he really thinks. He's a professional overthinker, even in the past
"He thinks of the labyrinthian etiquette, the way he’d triple-check every sentence for a double meaning. The secrets, the ruthless political schemes. It all felt like a spider’s web to him. He’d learned the game, and he played it well, but it had been nothing but paranoia and misery for him. Just like it was for everyone else." -Chapter 17
It's what's kept him alive (Ch. 17), and what's been able to pave the way for his findings Yet, it’s also his curse. He tries to pick out every detail that he can and think of every possible reason or motivation. Every single outcome he just needs to know so that he won't get caught by surprise again. He needs to be in control of the situation, he needs to be the master of the chessboard.
Oh and once this guy spirals, he really spirals. He starts thinking and looking at details, rewinding every single thing, every interaction, and trying to label a reason for every little thing. Yet... something emotional seems to break the surface of the water.
I personally think that he was raised to overthink. He was a noble after all, and he dealt with politics. He truly needed to check, double check, triple check, every single sentence and word in case it would have a double meaning. "He’d learned the game, and he played it well" (Ch. 17) . Getting worse after Lorens' death, being fooled by "Only a cut." (Ch. 25) and seeing the aftermath of it.
He can't not do it because if he doesn't, and he gets surprised it would break him (or at the very least, freak him out).
ALSO!! Rogier hating on "saccharine conversations" (Ch. 17) good lord. This guy cannot be real with anyone. Rogier refuses to show vulnerability because:
1. He was raised like that (the whole attachment theory thing) 2. He will absolutely break if he does
Do you guys remember when Fia tells Magdalene that "dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke" (Ch.14)? Fia saw through Rogier's walls through the cracks and he just absolutely breaks down. (Get yourself a man who, after "embracing" tells you all about this thing he's obsessed about and then cries because of it)
It's a mortifying ordeal, that someone's able to see through the walls you've meticulously put up. It hits something deep within that he’s tried to bury.
Despite the walls he puts up people other than Fia see through them. Magdalene (Ch.7) was able to see through the small cracks that have broken, and Roderika... hoo she really hit a nerve didn’t she? (But it also hit one of her nerves too, Rogier vs Roderika am I right?)
Chapter 17 analysis
Also, while we’re on the topic of Roderika, let's talk about chapter 17! Seems I have a lot to talk about.
I absolutely love this chapter so much, it gives us so much insight into Rogier's backstory and the way he thinks. His noble background really shines through here, with how he acts with Roderika who is a fellow ex-noble too.
"His grin is wide and carefree, but it rather feels like he's baring his teeth. There’s no room for your pity here." -Chapter 17
This guy cannot accept any sign of sympathy/compassion with anyone. It's all pity to him, and he absolutely hates pity. Once Roderika starts to console him too it sickens him and it makes him bare his teeth like an animal, his baser instinct showing just a little bit.
He’s probably bore his teeth to other nobles in the court, or whatever meetings they have with one another. Small threats that get the message across by a vicious smile, is something he is all too familiar with.
I also think that it's a little bit funny how he gives advice to Roderika but then is also a little bit of a hypocrite about it
“It’s hard, to leave it behind. But the old world will keep its claws in you, if you let it.” -Chapter 17
Rogier while it's not his past life that he's stuck but rather, he is stuck on Lorens. Even though Rogier is no longer Lorens' student, even though Lorens is dead, he still has his claws on Rogier. It's his entire motivation, why he's in a "pathetic" state now. He isn't letting those claws go, he lets them dig deeper within him, and they dig in deep.
“You already have it within you," he says. "They were only trying to bury it.” -Chapter 17
Rogier immediately buries his own emotions in this interaction when Roderika tries to console him lol. Just based off of him being an ex-noble and his whole family thing, it's well established that he is very much used to burying it all down his gullet. I mean, is it really Rogier without emotional suppression?
Also Rogier tends to close off all the matters that relate to what he feels in his dialogue both in game and in SWRD. This guy cannot let out just a slight moment of vulnerability
A Color Theory Thing on my read on Rogier's garb:
Rogier, with his background being grounded in nobility has suppressed his baser desires in exchange for meaningless political schemes that have only brought him misery. Yet after coming to these lands, he finds himself with Lorens.
He wears a Raya Lucarian Robe and it has red on it. It's a sign of baser instincts being shown for once. He has grown an infatuation with Lorens despite being his student.
Yet, Rogier is still mostly blue, and he still suppresses that baser desire that he’s developed, that infatuation for Lorens. He never once builds up the courage to be able to tell Lorens what he feels. He would always bury those feelings down, and as a result he can't let go of it. It's far too deep to be buried back up.
But once Lorens has died, Rogier changes too.
He exchanges those garbs for yellow and turquoise (I think?). He's a mix of colors and beliefs.
He still has the blue in the turquoise, which symbolizes calm, intelligence, and emotional control (you can’t spell Rogier without emotional control) But turquoise isn't just blue, it also has green.
Green represents growth, life, and new beginnings. This is a new beginning for Rogier, who's set out for a new goal, to be able to save those who live in death (and perhaps give them life? Not so sure on that but in SWRD that seems to be the case with Lorens).
It's balanced by yellow. Creativity and originality, he's almost the only person we meet who wants to save TWLID. Not only that but yellow also symbolizes illness, which could be a foreshadowing of what happens to him later in his life.
It's not just sickness though, yellow also symbolizes deception. Rogier lies, but I necessarily think he's someone who is always deceptive. He's more like the type of guy who would lie so that an encounter would go well or not hurt someone else's feelings. I think he's like that from that whole ex-nobility thing he's got going on. Political schemes and lying through a smile is something that he's familiar with. (It also doesn't help that he keeps being emotionally suppressed too lol)
Cowardice is another. Rogier is scared to tell anyone about his emotions, to take that risk of being honest with someone. His background in nobility and his family definitely doesn't help either.
Rogier had been too scared to be true to Lorens and tell him his feelings, and because of that, he would never be able to. I feel like he's avoided it even more afterward. He refuses to take that jump of being honest with someone, whether it's about his emotions or his ideals, he doesn't let them go.
But when he does? With D, it completely breaks off everything they've had. Everything that they could have been.
"Beguiled fool. A rotten, sick bastard. Fouled by them. A wicked, two-faced user. Heartless. Loathsome parasite. How could he? Were they not supposed to set this crooked world straight? Profane. A perversion of honor. A madman." -Chapter 5
“Get out of my sight.” “I’m sorry.” He’d said, and he was. But Darian’s lips curled back, and he jerked his head away and locked his eyes on the horizon. His jaw twitched, in the moment he took to reply. “Don’t talk to me.” There was nothing he could do to fix this. To undo his mistakes, to spare Darian his intentions." -Chapter 5
It's all gone because he had been honest about his goals (presumably). This experience probably strengthened that emotional suppression so as to not be hurt/caught by surprise.
So when Magdalene, someone who wholeheartedly accepts his ideals and sees his side for once, he's cautious. He can't believe that someone can genuinely agree with him because all the times that he has been honest, he's been punished for it. (though, he reminds himself that she's not like that)
In short, this guy's a mixed bag. A mixed bag with problems
(basing this off of the Elden Ring color theory video, it was an absolute joy to watch)
[EDIT]: idk what to call this section but he seems to seek out some form of approval. Lets see how that ties in with his grief!
"He still doesn’t understand why. What did he do, specifically? Or was he just past his usefulness? Deemed unfit to rule? He never truly wanted to rule as Lord, but to be cast aside so indifferently—it had shaken him. Every now and then he fumbles with this, again and again, but he knows. He does. He knows that grace has forsaken him for good reason. He’s a heretic. An apostate. He who does not obediently bow before a faltering, decrepit Order, so ill-equipped to handle the world as it is. " -Chapter 5
"All these years. Couldn’t change a thing. Rather pathetic, I’d say—what a fool, thinking that this crooked world could be made right by mortal hands. Sure, deathblight. Truly, a fitting end for a worthless, rotten bastard." -Chapter 12
Now, speaking from some personal experience, being raised in a family that's of nobility and expects so much out of you from a young age definitely breeds some kind of self-worth issues that really stick with you. Especially if you haven't had anyone to truly support you.
Because of that, I believe that Rogier, in a way, is trying to prove his worth. But not to the Order, I think that he's in some way trying to please Lorens. Even in death.
He puts everything into his studies of Death, searching and scouring for scraps of information just to give him a single lead on anything, and for what?
"Its fulfillment will be a selfish act of altruism. These crooked lands will set right, by his hands, for a reward of nothing at all. But make no mistake: he needs another day. And another after that, and another after that. He needs his questions answered with questions, he needs his notes corrected in an unreadable hand, he needs to hear one more “Well—” followed by the most opaque, convoluted tangle of sentences ever constructed. There’s no reward he seeks, but the warm smile of cold gray eyes and a scoff about just what he’s wearing nowadays. " -Chapter 19
Rogier devotes himself to saving TWLID (saving Lorens, in reality), but it's not because it's all for selfless reasons, he seems to want things to go back to the way things used to be. Back at the Rise, with just him and Lorens once more.
I don't think Rogier ever accepted Lorens' death. He's determined to bring back Lorens, desperately trying to find a solution to bring him back no matter what.
And it’s quite hypocritical isnt it? That Rogier wants to change the Order to be able to sort of… revive Lorens from Death. To go back to the old times that they both had had.
This guy refuses to grieve and is searching (desperately) for a solution for a dead man who's probably not even good for him. Get this man some therapy
This entire post's summary is just me going:
Anyway, that's all for my crazy rambles! I can't wait to see how SWRD will progress, and how everyone will intermingle and grow with one another (Rogier and Mags)!!!! :0)
Have some doodles + a WIP that I'll probably never finish as a treat for reading this! (Mag's torso was wayyy too long on the second one oops)
(bonus boggart because I love him)
#not gonna talk about d yet#I don't want to assume too much about him just yet#but d is really interesting and i absolutely love this take on him and his grief :0) (not that I've read any other d fics.)#Rogier is so damn complicated#like. he's got so many problems like. dude get a grip and get a therapist#mags reel him back in and send him to the therapy office while ur at it#sorry if u guys cant understand my insanity... it cannot be contained#or else ill explode into pink glitter and my blood splattered all across the room#hhhh maybe ill edit this later i have to do some stuff :(#oh also unlocal if u do see this no pressure at all!! I just needed a place to be able to go crazy over ur fic lol#theres like. probably a lot I've missed but I'll make another one if I get insane again#some of this is probably incorrect and is just me reaching for an answer that doesnt exist btw#swrd#rogier#magdalene#envelope rambles#i wrote this in like. two sittings#what is happenign to me#I STILL RAMBLE IN TAGS YOU CANNOT STOP ME#the mortifying ordeal of posting#AAAA#uou guys i keep noticing things and. i just keep on fuckign ADDING MORE THINGS IN#[EDIT]: Added in rogier's self esteem into this too :3
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Tagged by @turbulentpumpkin43. Thank you! Although I know I've got a lot of stuff I haven't finished, I'm doing my best to be prompt with new stuff.
rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people!
(Emi note: I have come to understand that "on repeat" is a Spotify thing, so tonight the method is that I'm going to do my verrrrry best to remember stuff I've looped a lot recently and we're all going to super duper trust me that it's like, analogous.)
Thunder N' Rain - Hammer No More the Fingers (YouTube | Spotify)
Judgment in the Sixtieth Year ~ Fate of Sixty Years - ZUN (YouTube | Spotify)
To the Last Drop of Blood - Beast in Black (YouTube | Spotify)
Lay Down - Priestess (YouTube | Spotify)
Ride or Die - The Knocks (feat. Foster the People) (YouTube | Spotify)
The Purge March (Amane's Second Trial) - DECO*27, TeddyLoid (YouTube | Spotify)
Yin Yang Relationship - Wadatakeaki (YouTube)
Austerity - Katatonia (YouTube | Spotify)
I Really Want to Stay at Your House (Turbo eurobeat remix) - Rosa Walton (YouTube)
Dancing Samurai - Kanimiso-P (YouTube)
If interested, @camelliagwerm, @bearvanhelsing, and @mountainashfae?
#y'know I think I started this with other things I wanted to comment on but once I remembered the purge march#it's all that in my brain#earworm that one#so nary a sound can be heard a second time I'll crush your throat too :)#look no one follows me for Milgram takes but look. look. we gotta vote amane forgiven.#I need to see what happens when she's cut loose (she'll kill someone) this isn't about morality or anything I just wanna see it#I've made peace with it she can't be saved we just have to make her worse#can't wait for kotoko second trial later this fall. kotoko forgiven also for me. always. heart. women's wrongs.#genuinely this list gets funnier and funnier the more I look at it but yeah. I think it's accurate. my Range.#tag game#tbh dancing samurai is probably the most looped on the list the past few days. animal by deco*27 honorary mention. should probably be here.#also everyone please clap Internet Yamero isn't here for once!
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I'm so burnt out and stressed about a variety of things lately, but a funny / sweet coincidence recently happened that I wanted to share:
Last week, I had a university student reach out to me (via my work email) asking for resources / advice on their research paper because I've written a lot of articles about the thing they're writing about. (I just got back to them today and they were real sweet, I'm excited to see how their paper turns out)
A week or two ago, I had someone reach out to me on RA asking for some specific clip info / date info because they were doing a research paper about Pac, and today I saw that they published their paper and put a special thanks to RA in the notes :')
I just think it's very sweet and a funny coincidence that my work (professional and fandom work) is getting cited in research papers. It made me smile a lot, I genuinely love that.
#i talk#job talk#Seeing RA get MLA cited sure was something#I love that#I have such a hard time sitting down and focusing on things but I want to read their paper#even if I have to TTS it (which is what I'll probably have to do)#but I'm so :') about both things#it's unexpected and sweet and makes me feel proud in different ways#I'm sad about work though but I really do need a new job#I love my job and I love the people (minus one but I never see him and never interact with him so it's fine)#but it just doesn't frickin pay enough and I've been in the red for too long#it makes me so sad but it's just not sustainable and it's stressing me out even more#like money is always a huge stressful thing but it's getting worse#I'm just frustrated because job hunting sucks and even jobs I'm overqualified for never get back to me#The job market is a nightmare but especially for my field. You just gotta KNOW people and I'm not good at that#I'm also sad because I know my team will be sad when I inevitably have to leave#I need to do it sooner rather than later though because we have big projects coming up#and the longer I take the harder it'll be on my team#agh#anyways this got a bit negative in the tags but these two things really did put a much-needed smile on my face#so thank you to those two students#I love college kids. I miss my Japanese college students#sideblog shenanigans#storytime with shikai
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i won't post it for now since i use real names in it, but i sent the website i made for one of my best friend's birthday to her and she liked it :)
#it was essentially just a birthday card/message spread throughout multiple pages but i did try my best to make it a little fancy#the 1st page had a bday cake image that bounced around the corners of the pg which glowed yellow & shook when u hovered over it. u had to#click on it to get to the next pg. and obv there was music#and i also made sure to make it look real pretty skdgjk#i had fun :] i'd never used the marquee element before so that was interesting too#ok that's enough rambling in the tags#mine#thx for everyone who gave suggestions! i'll probably use more of them for later gifts and when i get better at programming
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now that the weapons beta is over, here's just a few more fancy shots of temp characters left over from the event.
Pact Admiral Trin (Human Daredevil) Eimear the Sharp (Sylvari Mirage) Protector Glonn (Asura Willbender)
and under the cut, all the betas on the character select screen:
#my posts#GW2#Guild Wars 2#soto spoilers#only tagging because of Glonn's bg#not that skywatch map spoilers are much of a spoiler now lol#can't remember what the norn guy was named sadly... i thought i had more time to snag shots and info dangit#something Hillsplitter...#ah well. rip these guys ig#i plan to make Mai proper later tho since she's a Flourish AU cast member and all that jazz (plus daredevil sounds fun)#I have a blast with power vindicator so I'll probably like that too since they seem to play pretty similarly. kinda wild#anyway. there you go that's all folks#sets this here and walks away
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assigning tarot cards to the LL cast and getting to five like no that's too many cards i said THREE. you can have THREE. put some back
#lorien legacies#LL tag#LL number five#this is mostly just with the major arcana too i've barely even scratched at the minor arcana#although five of pentacles reversed is about the most on the nose a card could possibly have been 🥲#BUT YEAH THERE'S. SO MANY THERE'S SO MANY#the moon is His Card as far as i'm concerned re: the major arcana#but also. we got your fool reversed. we got your hermit reversed. we got your sun reversed#we got your hierophant doing cartwheels#same for six of cups 🥲#setrákus is the magician BIG TIME as well as the emperor and also doing the hierophant cartwheel#there's a bunch more i'll have to go into later because i slept poorly and my head feels real grainy#i know that fandom tarot projects are something that does not ever get finished because holy shit understandable#22 very detailed and symbolism-heavy illustrations and that's /just/ for the major arcana#but i very very much want to at least do the moon for five#and probably also the magician for setrákus just because i have a Clear Image of it in my head. he even has the eye of thlaloc for the wand#setrákus ra#tarot stuff#also the theme of the entire first series is just the star reversed; which i also have a really clear image of#the spaceship making its descent to earth#which is /supposed/ to eventually transition into the star upright when they wake up lorien#which is a shame because that would also make for some great star imagery except that the entity's deal is the uh. the star But Evil#while being played entirely straight by the authors 🙃#so there's that!#LL entity#EDIT: HOW DID I FORGET THE DEVIL#FOR FIVE HOW DID I FORGET#HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT
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idk if I ever publicly yapped about how much I love SV Teto but I really truly do lmao, I love both UTAU Teto and SV Teto immensely, which is a lot. Basically whatever Miku x Teto brainrot anyone can imagine me with, just multiply it by 100 and you're marginally closer to just how much I love them lmao
#was going thru the negidrill search in niconico douga last night and i underestimated just how happy it would make me lol#i have very special feelings abt them and the more stuff i find that i really like the more my adoration is cemented#they're giving me raccoon and fennec levels of obsession rn and anyone who knows me knows i love that duo SO much lol#i occasionally forget that i grew up with these characters but then when i remember i'm like#'yea there is literally nothing that can replace you. this situation is very very unique'#for example i love the song 'chiisana koi no uta' and the moment i heard teto and miku cover it it was an instant bookmark from me#my love of that song comes from my touhou era but it's also why songs like 'dive to blue' are ALSO instant bookmarks for me#if i really did get into it these tags will be miles long so that will be all for now lmao#anyway ships where the characters r irreplaceable are 100000/10#that i could talk about more too but ships where if you swapped the chara with someone else it would change the ship entirely#might not seem like a rare phenomenon but basically i really like it when certain attributes are paid attention to and they power the ship#for example teto being a chimera because no other chara is a chimera like her lmao#you can headcanon and give other charas that but teto is a unique chara all on her own so it's teto flavor lmao#at the same time since Miku is my kamioshi it's essentially impossible for me to ever replace her#anyway yeah i'll yap about it later. probably.#via art/fiction idk
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Heather is a huge fan of horror movies, but especially body horror and splatter horror. I just gave her my weird thing where I mostly watch horror movies but for some reason only read mystery books
#wiz.txt#oversimplification because i've been reading a lot of nonfiction lately for some reason ?#and just rereading dracula a billion times which is probably not good for my mental health#anyway i would like to make heather not have to do that because she does not have to be like me#oc: heather#97#i like the idea that she is just creating the types of stories she wants to see#but they are. well. A Lot#she had to stop asking her husband to proofread for her b/c it stressed him out too much#lou does like some horror but he's more in the realm of gothic horror or '30s/'40s monster movies#the gore stuff he Struggles with#he mostly just watches dracula movies#and starts stressing himself out about it#because i also projected onto him#but just my weird thing about categorizing movies where dracula is a dad#he doesn't make a spreadsheet about it or anything because he's more well adjusted than i am#he's just like ugh this guy reminds me of my terrible father...who is also a vampire...#oc: lou#since i talked abt him in the tags so much i'll be looking for this later -_-
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